Tag Archive: love


Day 135 2 Samuel 13-15

  As my buddy Cindy put it, “This was a very long and complicated story.”   However I really liked an image that was given to us by a widow who is trying to convince King David that he needs to forgive his son Abselom for Murdering his David’s other Son Amnon (who had raped their sister Tamar).  Like I said complicated and that’s just the tip of the iceberg… Anyhow here is this old lady kind of “tricking” David into realizing it was time that Abselom returned to Jerusalem.  She says in 2 Samuel 14:14, ” Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But that is not what God desires; rather, he devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from him.”    

   This is such a wonderful image, She essentially illustrates perfectly how we sin and the wages of sin is death, But God has another plan for us… and he has the means to accomplish the impossible.  What terrible thing have you done that makes you like water poured out onto the ground, irretrievable and thus gone forever?  To think of God forever devising ways to end our banishment leaves me quite humbled and gives me hope for those whom I love that think they are completely unlovable.  God IS love, and that love knows no bounds.

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Ruth

Day 97 Ruth 1-4

In the Fall of 08 two books changed my life, Ruth was one of them.  My husband had just returned from a four-month trip that summer and dragged us to church.  I was reluctant at first.. this place was weird, there were bikers dudes everywhere,  and I knew no one. But you start to make friends and get connected.. I knew one way to get to know folks was bible study so I signed up for the Wednesday morning Women’s  Bible study which was studying Ruth and Esther.  I kept the bible study book, and just  now went over the notes I had jotted down. 

    You see God had planted the seed of adoption in my heart and He was going to use these two women in the Bible to make that seed sprout into a full blown reality by October of that year when we sent in our adoption application.  So it’s fun to go back and look over just how that process started to happen in my heart.  It was Ruth’s willingness to “go out on a limb for God” though she barely knew Him that inspired me, it was Boaz’s willingness to do what was right for ALL not just what was right for himself that moved me, I learned that fear need not play such a big role in my life.

    My life is in a totally different place right now.  My daughter Esther,  adopted from Ug*nda  joined my family over a year and a half ago, yet my husband is  now choosing to leave me.  I am afraid.  So when rereading Ruth and rereading what I wrote down in my bible study I still find myself inspired, but in different ways.  When reflecting on Naomi’s change from the beginning of the story when she was so bitter to the end when life was clearly looking up I wrote, “When we are feeling like all is lost God has the most room to fill us up! He can put us in the right place at the right time!” 

When reflecting on Ruth’s heritage as a Moabite and how according to Deuteronomy 23;3 that excluded both her and her descendents from being a member of the congregation of Israel I wrote, “It’s not about where you come from,  It’s about where your heart is.  When it’s true service to the Lord, You’ll receive His Blessings.” 

Now in closing, after reading Judges (ugg) Ruth is such a breath of fresh air… and here is why: THIS WOMAN ROCKS!  Israel over and over again forsook God and turned to Idols, HERE is a gentile woman who turned away from her people’s customs and turned to the one true God, she did so out of Loyalty and LOVE for another: “Your people shall be my people, and your God my God”  All God was asking for was Loyalty from His people and they failed, miserably!  From a foreigner came a beautiful example of what TO do.  Just as Boaz was Ruth’s Kinsman redeemer, Christ is ours.  We need to put our trust in Him, good times and in bad times.  bad times..  I keep thinking if this is as bad as it’s going to get, then life ain’t that half bad.   I know where my trust is.

 Loyalty, Love, Trust and Faith.  Here is a hero I can look to (sorry Samson you’re out!).  Ruth you are my hero in the good times, and here I can now safely say you are my hero in the bad.  She’s moved me, yet again.

Is He Talking to Me?

Day 74 Deuteronomy 11-13

  I’m not sure if God’s leading me into a period of desert wandering, or a new promise land or perhaps I’m over doing the analogies but I do know my life is taking a dramatic unexpected turn… what now do I do with it?  Over the last two days I’ve felt as though some of Moses’ advice to the young Israelites was speaking to me.  Yesterdays the verses Deut. 8: 2-5 touched me and I thought about them through out the day:  2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. 5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. 

   What struck a chord with me was Humbled… right now I feel utterly humbled.  I think of it as a good thing, not necessarily my circumstances (at all) but the opportunity to be humbled by them… it brings us into a much more honest approach to God… we are less likely to take credit for what is good in our lives and more likely to cling to our Maker with all we’ve got.  When something really horrid happens how many of us utter the words, “Oh God.”   No matter how we stray it’s trying times that reminds us who we really should be dependent on.  Through this process there is almost a liberating feeling.. oh, it’s not just my burden to bear, look the LORD is here to bear it with me.

   Today’s passages struck me on an application level as well.. the idea of blessings and curses based on following the law.  In a way it sounds like a dictatorship on the surface.. I honestly think our resistance to following directions is the fundamental foundation of sin… “Eat whatever you’d like except don’t eat of this tree…   [chomp]  ok little missy and little mister we need to talk about following directions!”  The commandments aren’t too horrid, well the big ten at least make sense.  If you keep the ten commandments you’d be better off than if you didn’t.  To me that’s the blessing and the curse… So I’m left wondering (and again perhaps I’m being a little too literal with the analogies, but it’s where I am so put up with it..) as I enter this new “phase” of my life what idols will I encounter and how will I handle them?  How do I navigate this new world keeping the Lord close?  My buddy Jena commented that “There is strength in obedience” after reading today passages.  The Lord knows I need strength right now.  Do what’s right even though every fiber of my being wants to throw a royal temper tantrum the likes of have never been seen before .  I’d be justified, but to who?  How can I keep God’s commandments and avoid idols as I pass into this new life? What would they look like? I only needed to listen to 20 minutes of pop culture radio to be reintroduced to some of the biggies. I won’t know till I’m there, but I’m pretty sure keeping commandments and avoiding idols involves loving and serving God through the yuck, despite the yuck, with in the yuck. 

     I don’t feel like I’m walking into a promise land, but I have been promised that “it’s all going to be ok.”  It’s so vague, too vague.  I want to know how, when, why… WHY I’m dealing with what I’m dealing with.  It’s all going to be ok… I cling to that and I cling to my Maker.  I will try to continue to walk the walk, I will be humbled and be proud of it (LOL the irony just hit me), I will avoid the pitfalls that are sure to come in this new uncharted territory.  I am not alone… with God going before me and friends He’s sent by my side I know, I know, I know I’m going to be ok.

Manipulation

Day 22 Genesis 30-31

  Boy Howdy if we thought family dysfunction started in the 20th century one needs only to read the book of Genesis!  I scoff at the notion that life was ever any easier “back in the good ol’ days!” Us humans sure do know how to screw life up… and yet God still wants a relationship with us.  I’m thankful God isn’t Human, he would have thrown in the towel on us long ago.

   Rachel and Leah’s attempts to manipulate Jacob’s affection towards them was interesting… Did bearing Jacob many sons help increase his love for Leah?  And what was up with the mandrake?  Why would sex with their husband ever be available for trading in exchange for mandrake… aren’t those the screaming baby plants in Harry Potter?  I’m aware they are real, but if they are THAT good why then don’t we go buy mandrake bars instead of candy bars? Clearly they had yet to discover chocolate, now that I might understand.

   All joking aside, I think affection from our spouse is a touchy issue.  Any attempt to manipulate the person to give affection just makes it that much less genuine, and the need that started the manipulation in the first place grows and grows till it’s really dysfunctional.  Why do we, especially women, have to be so emotionally tied to adoration from our spouse?  Why should our happiness be so linked to being appreciated?  I don’t think manipulation is a solution to the problem.. figuring out where our happiness needs to come from instead might be a better step in the right direction.   Leah was unable to attain Jacob’s primary love even through manipulation, or God blessing her with the ability to bare children.  Was Jacob’s love for Leah what God’s goal He saw that she was not loved and allowed her to conceive?  That’s not the impression I was getting..  I’m working through this in my head but I don’t think I’ve come to a solid conclusion… I do not envy Leah.

On a side note:  reading about this polygamous family does not really sway me to think polygamy is a walk in the park.  Sorry Sister Wives.. I still don’t think more than one wife is a great idea.