Tag Archive: friends

Is He Talking to Me?

Day 74 Deuteronomy 11-13

  I’m not sure if God’s leading me into a period of desert wandering, or a new promise land or perhaps I’m over doing the analogies but I do know my life is taking a dramatic unexpected turn… what now do I do with it?  Over the last two days I’ve felt as though some of Moses’ advice to the young Israelites was speaking to me.  Yesterdays the verses Deut. 8: 2-5 touched me and I thought about them through out the day:  2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. 5 Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. 

   What struck a chord with me was Humbled… right now I feel utterly humbled.  I think of it as a good thing, not necessarily my circumstances (at all) but the opportunity to be humbled by them… it brings us into a much more honest approach to God… we are less likely to take credit for what is good in our lives and more likely to cling to our Maker with all we’ve got.  When something really horrid happens how many of us utter the words, “Oh God.”   No matter how we stray it’s trying times that reminds us who we really should be dependent on.  Through this process there is almost a liberating feeling.. oh, it’s not just my burden to bear, look the LORD is here to bear it with me.

   Today’s passages struck me on an application level as well.. the idea of blessings and curses based on following the law.  In a way it sounds like a dictatorship on the surface.. I honestly think our resistance to following directions is the fundamental foundation of sin… “Eat whatever you’d like except don’t eat of this tree…   [chomp]  ok little missy and little mister we need to talk about following directions!”  The commandments aren’t too horrid, well the big ten at least make sense.  If you keep the ten commandments you’d be better off than if you didn’t.  To me that’s the blessing and the curse… So I’m left wondering (and again perhaps I’m being a little too literal with the analogies, but it’s where I am so put up with it..) as I enter this new “phase” of my life what idols will I encounter and how will I handle them?  How do I navigate this new world keeping the Lord close?  My buddy Jena commented that “There is strength in obedience” after reading today passages.  The Lord knows I need strength right now.  Do what’s right even though every fiber of my being wants to throw a royal temper tantrum the likes of have never been seen before .  I’d be justified, but to who?  How can I keep God’s commandments and avoid idols as I pass into this new life? What would they look like? I only needed to listen to 20 minutes of pop culture radio to be reintroduced to some of the biggies. I won’t know till I’m there, but I’m pretty sure keeping commandments and avoiding idols involves loving and serving God through the yuck, despite the yuck, with in the yuck. 

     I don’t feel like I’m walking into a promise land, but I have been promised that “it’s all going to be ok.”  It’s so vague, too vague.  I want to know how, when, why… WHY I’m dealing with what I’m dealing with.  It’s all going to be ok… I cling to that and I cling to my Maker.  I will try to continue to walk the walk, I will be humbled and be proud of it (LOL the irony just hit me), I will avoid the pitfalls that are sure to come in this new uncharted territory.  I am not alone… with God going before me and friends He’s sent by my side I know, I know, I know I’m going to be ok.


The Tummy Bug Perspective

Day 6 Job 10-13

I read todays scriptures in bed..  I got the link out to the  Facebook group a day early because I knew I was getting pretty sick with a tummy bug.  I’m not the nicest sick person in the world, I don’t like hurting and I especially don’t like tummy bugs.  But I felt well enough to get the boys to school in rainy weather, go to the store and pick up my “I’m sick” supplies  and make it back home.  I may have looked like death warmed over but I got the job done. I’m kind of proud I accomplished even that little bit, and I’m kind of looking forward to taking the day “off” as much as  Mommy can anyhow…

Why am I telling you all this? Well first off I just really want to complain to somebody, I hurt, I feel sick, and while my baby girl keeps giving me hugs and pat pat pats I desire sympathy from my friends and family.  It warms the heard when a friend send a message like I’m praying for you, Hugs, get feeling better.  These are the kinds of friends Job needed, but did not have. Secondly, while my family hasn’t been wiped out with by a tornado, and my pain is minimal I feel like being sick is a unique frame of mind with which to read Job. I will, however,  refrain from thanking the bacteria in my belly that made this unique perspective possible, if that’s ok.

I’ve never known pain so bad I wished I would die, or wished I was never born… the best I’ve got compared to Job is during my battles with depression I knew the feeling of wishing with all my heart that I didn’t have to get out of bed.  I’ve been so emotionally tied in nots before I just pleaded that it all be over.  What I needed during those times in my life was help.  I needed help from my God to get out of that bed, and once again face life, no matter how bland and tasteless it had become, I needed friends to surround me and just be there to make me smile again.  During the adoption of my daughter I felt wrapped in God’s reassurances despite being frightened by my circumstances and all the unknowns of the process while staying in a foreign country… my friends hourly sent messages of love, prayer, mourned with me while I struggled with disappointing news and celebrated when we learned great news… they were there for me!  God was there for me! 

Job, while his friends came in his hour of need, didn’t give Job what he needed.. love.  I really honestly don’t think their words or even their presence was an act of love on their part.  I think they were there to gloat over the man who had been so perfect this whole time.  I think they took pleasure in Jobs pain. there is a part of me that can relate to that… I mean I can relate to Job’s friends (Say What?!).  Let’s be honest with ourselves shall we… the magazines are in  the check-out line shouting out the latest misfortunes and crimes of Hollywood’s luckiest stars.  Oh how dare Jessica Simpson be a home wrecker!  Oh yes it’s SO my business to know who is gay and who is not… So sad about the desperate housewife running off her husband and being so mean to her co-star… did I mention I dropped by the grocery store this morning?  I guess you know then what I was  taking guilty pleasure in reading.  I’m no good friend to anybody who will ever be on the cover of Us… but I don’t think even reading the covers with a smile on my lips is kind, friend or not.  Here is the root of the issue.  Perhaps there is a part of me that desires to have their good looks, their attention, their talent.  But I don’t, and for the most part I’m ok with that BUT there is always that little part that looks to see how has Queen Mother Angelina Jolie failed today. It’s because that same part of me that envies them also wants to see them fail, knock them down a few notches and make them less perfect.  I’d never pick up or purchase one of those magazines!  But I look at those covers every single time.

   And you thought I was perfect.. HA!  I’m not saying what I do is the worst thing in the world all I’m saying is I get it and those are NO friends to Job.  I get a kick out of him calling them pompous quacks and that silence in their only wisdom.  LOL that needs to be painted on a sign and hung on the wall at The Brunchery!  Wait, am I taking guilty pleasure in witnessing a fight that occurred close to the beginning of the human race?  Yeah… I guess so.  Ooops.

   Lord,   I’m so glad my friends are not like Job’s “friends.”  Mine know what to say and when to say it, and it’s all said in love.  I thank You for them, and thank You for You.  You are the ultimate friend and offer the ultimate love!  I confess I fall short… help mend that flaw in me, highlight it, then together let’s obliterate it!  I don’t ever want to be like Job’s friends again.