Tag Archive: awe


Day 97 Ruth 1-4

In the Fall of 08 two books changed my life, Ruth was one of them.  My husband had just returned from a four-month trip that summer and dragged us to church.  I was reluctant at first.. this place was weird, there were bikers dudes everywhere,  and I knew no one. But you start to make friends and get connected.. I knew one way to get to know folks was bible study so I signed up for the Wednesday morning Women’s  Bible study which was studying Ruth and Esther.  I kept the bible study book, and just  now went over the notes I had jotted down. 

    You see God had planted the seed of adoption in my heart and He was going to use these two women in the Bible to make that seed sprout into a full blown reality by October of that year when we sent in our adoption application.  So it’s fun to go back and look over just how that process started to happen in my heart.  It was Ruth’s willingness to “go out on a limb for God” though she barely knew Him that inspired me, it was Boaz’s willingness to do what was right for ALL not just what was right for himself that moved me, I learned that fear need not play such a big role in my life.

    My life is in a totally different place right now.  My daughter Esther,  adopted from Ug*nda  joined my family over a year and a half ago, yet my husband is  now choosing to leave me.  I am afraid.  So when rereading Ruth and rereading what I wrote down in my bible study I still find myself inspired, but in different ways.  When reflecting on Naomi’s change from the beginning of the story when she was so bitter to the end when life was clearly looking up I wrote, “When we are feeling like all is lost God has the most room to fill us up! He can put us in the right place at the right time!” 

When reflecting on Ruth’s heritage as a Moabite and how according to Deuteronomy 23;3 that excluded both her and her descendents from being a member of the congregation of Israel I wrote, “It’s not about where you come from,  It’s about where your heart is.  When it’s true service to the Lord, You’ll receive His Blessings.” 

Now in closing, after reading Judges (ugg) Ruth is such a breath of fresh air… and here is why: THIS WOMAN ROCKS!  Israel over and over again forsook God and turned to Idols, HERE is a gentile woman who turned away from her people’s customs and turned to the one true God, she did so out of Loyalty and LOVE for another: “Your people shall be my people, and your God my God”  All God was asking for was Loyalty from His people and they failed, miserably!  From a foreigner came a beautiful example of what TO do.  Just as Boaz was Ruth’s Kinsman redeemer, Christ is ours.  We need to put our trust in Him, good times and in bad times.  bad times..  I keep thinking if this is as bad as it’s going to get, then life ain’t that half bad.   I know where my trust is.

 Loyalty, Love, Trust and Faith.  Here is a hero I can look to (sorry Samson you’re out!).  Ruth you are my hero in the good times, and here I can now safely say you are my hero in the bad.  She’s moved me, yet again.


Bears and Volcanoes

Job 40-42

  What’s the closest you’ve ever come to seeing and hearing God?  I feel as though I have several…I remember as a child after going on a trip to Monterey Mexico I had a dream about running into Jesus’s arms…  I still believe that was more than just a dream.. and while it was a very loving simple dream It frightened me.

   During my daughter’s adoption God did a lot of hand holding and nudging but while in her country of birth the stress level was pretty high due to quite a lot of unknowns.  God carried me, and when I’d doubt Him and His ability to help, He’d move mountains in such a way there was no doubt it was HIM.  That scared me to the core.  I kept trying to figure things out for myself till finally God said, “MINE!”  Then to realize it was all His, that He was the blessed controller of all things and my attempts to pretend otherwise seemed rather ridiculous.  Because when you really boiled my stress, worry and fuss down I was pulling a Job, I was telling the creator of the universe, No you’re wrong, here let me do it right.  It’s a perfect recipe for truly understanding the idea of Fearing the Lord.  He’s one big God, sufficient in all things, and he loves little ol me. 

I’ve always bragged about having great fears.. I have two of them:  bears and volcanoes.  Both are a perfectly healthy fear.  Both are powerful, majestic, magnificent creations.  I’m not about to walk up to a Kodiak Bear and flick it on the nose.  I’m not going to stick around during an eruption to see the “pretty” lava, or observe a pyroclastic blast…  I respect the might of the bear and volcano, I should then respect even more their Creator.  What’s even more unbelievable is that same Creator took the time to create me, with the same tender care and rapt interest He formed me. He pursues me, cares for me.  Now that deserves respect, and love.  

To conclude with my thoughts on Job I wanted to point out this: God didn’t make a perfect world.  We can’t stay in Eden, but even outside the garden, the rules are not as they should be.  The bad guys don’t always get punished and the good guys don’t always win.  satan challenged God to prove that Job Loved God for more reasons than because Job had a good life. While Job whines, questions and challenges God, he never turns his back on God nor curses him as Job’s wife suggested.  Job continued to Love God even during the bad times.  That’s love born of free will, not forced from us through a series of promised rewards and punishments.  Sometimes we draw even closer to God during and as a result of hard times.  Job, a righteous man to begin with, was now even closer to God because of his hardships… may I be able to say the same during tough times in my life.

Funny Feathers

Job 38-39

 I know God is admonishing Job.. but I can’t get over how much He appreciates and loves every detail of his creation.. The small section where he goes off about the Ostrich is almost comical. “I am GOD of Heaven and earth… and isn’t that Ostrich fun to watch.” I can picture Job shaking in his boots.. then stopping to ponder the Ostrich for a second then go back to shaking in his boots.


Day 10 Job 24-28

In Job 26: 5-14 I love the illustrations Job uses to highlight his awe of God’s works.   The reality in which we live in is pretty amazing isn’t it?   I feel that awe when a display of colors stretch over the bottoms of clouds as the sun slips past our edge of the earth;  when I feel magnificent touch of  warm  ocean water on my skin,and take in the sheer power of its waves; taking in the vastness of space, and the curious nature of time;  along side completeness I feel when I am with my husband;  and the tears that come during worship.  I am in awe of our God.

  Now God’s done all that, and I am in awe, yet like Job’s friends all too often I search for wisdom in places I shouldn’t.  I try to figure out almost everything myself first, and can work myself in to a frenzy doing it too.  When really sometimes we have to let go and let God.  Job is right, God alone knows the way to Wisdom, He knows the exact place to find it.  and why should we doubt him? Why is He the last place I look.  He created ALL this, He knows how it works and He knows me… He’s not too big to care about me.

   Lord, why do I search elsewhere for wisdom?  why are You the last place I turn to in desperation?  Help me turn towards You the first time, remind me of Your power, remind me of Your grace, the remind me that in Your vastness when you have the ability to create heaven and earth you also have the ability to know and love me by name.